Tag Archives: the French

Those little things…………………….

sarkozycarla1.jpg 

Carla: ” The most important thing in my life is a penis.”

Sarkozy: ” I think you will find that it is pronounced ‘happiness’

Carla: “I was talking about you.”

Sarkozy: “Espèce de salope.”

Carla: ” Connard.  Va te faire …………”

Sarkozy: ” C’est déjà fait.”

Carla: “Faccia di culo!”

Sarkozy: “Et ta soeur.”

Spygun loves the French and in tribute to the nation that still thinks that French is the world’s No 1 language, here are some well-known observations  about our little fromage-chomping surrender monkeys:

“France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes.”
Mark Twain

‘I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me.’
General George S. Patton

‘Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.’
Norman Schwartzkopf

‘We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it.’
Marge Simpson

‘As far as I’m concerned, war always means failure.’
Jacques Chirac, President of France

‘The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee.’
Regis Philbin

‘You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn’t have the face for it.’
John McCain , U.S. Senator from Arizona

‘The last time the French asked for ‘more proof’ it came marching into Paris under a German flag.’
David Letterman

‘Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada .’
Ted Nugent

‘War without France would be like …………. World War II.’
Unknown

‘The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says ‘First Iraq, then France.”
Tom Brokaw

‘What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?’
Dennis Miller

‘It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us.’
Alan Kent

‘They’ve taken their own precautions against al-Qa’ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house.’
Argus Hamilton

‘Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day –the description was, ‘Never shot. Dropped once.”
Rep. Roy Blunt, MO

‘The French will only agree to go to war when we’ve proven we’ve found truffles in Iraq ‘
Dennis Miller

Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m’sieur?

‘Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris ? It’s not known, it’s never been tried.’
Rep. R. Blount, MO

‘Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that’s because it was raining.’
John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv

The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France ‘s white flag factory, effectively disabling their military.


French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney
(AP), Paris , March 5, 2003 The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris , caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.”   
and finally:

Never trust a nation that has a cock as its national emblem.” Spygun

Toff at the Top

blairtoff.jpg

 

Is this the sort of man that we want to lead us? Or shall we go for something like this:

camerontoff.jpgThe Crewe by-election  is extracting the best and worst from the British psyche. The British working classes worship Royalty and the upper classes, yet at the same time they bemoan the fact that they (the toffs) are out of touch with the average working man.

They (the workers)  have a chronic inferiority complex  and will always defer to anyone who speaks with a “posh” accent but like to think “we’re all the same really”. We are not all the same.

Let’s just spell it out:  The working class cannot produce a leader. The working class has only ever produced a handful of decent Members of Parliament and the majority of those attended either Oxford or Cambridge.

Most working class people have neither the vocabulary nor  the intellect to lead others and they badly need someone to look up to. Generalisation?  You bet it is.

Likewise, the toffs are all chinless wonders with lots of dosh, even the thick ones get to University because they can pay for it and they don’t know what it’s like to be broke. Another generalisation? Yup.

We need leaders who can communicate and who don’t regard politics as a nice little earner. That is a very strong argument for politicians who are of independent means and who , on being elected, will not rip off the system because they have just discovered the triple concepts of the “second home”, red wine at more than £3.99 a bottle and researcher-shagging.

At the other extreme, we have the Pot-noodle eating, tattooed Chav who cannot string a whole sentence together and who is extremely stupid. He  thinks that the current MPs salary is a fortune and if elected as  MP, will make the most of his perks because, deep down, he aspires to be a toff. After all , he is equipped – he has a Burberry baseball cap!

The choice is ours.

Edward Timpson is a good bloke and will make an excellent Member of Parliament. So his family is loaded. So what? We would all like to be loaded. Those of you who are currently in the financial shit are there because over the last few years  of New Labours “virtual” plenty, you were given the opportunity to think that you were  loaded. Like a toff.

Labour supporters and canvassers in Crewe are dressing up like toffs in the vain hope that somehow we will all laugh with them. No we won’t. They are all making themselves look like dicks and should stop it.

Spygun was born with a plastic spoon in his mouth and being of European rather than English extraction is mildly amused by the Tom and Jerry antics of the British classes.

Let a semi-outsider spell it out for you: If an individual speaks with an accent; for example a Birmingham, Yorkshire or Welsh accent – he is not necessarily either thick nor working class. Conversely, someone who speaks with a public school accent ( the one where all the words are pronounced properly and arranged into sentences), he or she is not necessarily rich and superior.

We do make lots of assumptions based on too little knowledge. For instance, if someone speaks with a French accent, they are not necessarily  a homosexual, garlic-chewing surrender monkey. Mind you…………………

Nearly forgot – this is what we have at the moment:

 

brownkid1.jpg “Macmillan said that we’ve never had it so good. Well, I’ve never had it! And NO, my left hand isn’t always like this”

 

p.s. Look at Blair’s right hand in the top photo. That confirms it! They are a right bunch.

 

 

 

If you answer YES to TWO of these questions, you are a toff:

1. Have you ever said “Gosh”?

2. Have you ever been to pony camp?

3. Do you know where Antibes and Deauville are?

4. Have you ever read the Tatler?

5. Do your parents have an Aga?

6. Have you been to Cowdray Park?

7. Does your house have a library?

8. Is there a tiara in your family?

9. Can you use a bidet properly?

10. Have you been to Henley and Glyndebourne?

11. Could you go straight to Harrods food hall?

12. Have you ever seen the inside of a Range Rover?

13. Does your name end with the letter “a”?

14. Have you ever found lead shot in your food?

15. Do you have HRH before your name?