Tag Archives: primary school

The British and sex.

The British nation’s obssession with sex is considered one of its more endearing traits. Lots of reports about it, talking about it, thinking about it, teaching it, studying it  and even advertising it. The end-result? One of the highest teenage pregnancy and abortion rates in the world.

The latest addition  is a very explicit film entitled “Living and Growing” . Its target audience is the United Kindgom’s Primary School population. I am not going to describe the content of the film but if you have no problem with your eight year-old learning about masturbation, orgasms, anal sex, flavoured condoms and the rest of the sexual spectrum, then you obviously cannot be shocked by this story:

A widowed 70 year-old lady was living temporarily with her daughter and her family. One day, her 10 year-old grandson returned from school. After he had dumped his school bag, PE bag and trainers in the middle of the hallway, he was just about to run upstairs when his grandmother smiled and said to him, “Hello Jimmy – and what did you learn at school today?”

The smile froze on her wrinkled old face when young Jimmy replied ” We learned about penises, vaginas, fucking and wanking.”

“That’s nice, Jimmy” replied the shocked grandmother as Jimmy ran barged past her  upstairs to his room.

The grandmother found her daughter cooking in the kitchen and repeated the hallway exchange with her grandson and how shocking she had found the encounter.

The daughter explained ” Mother, this is the 21st century and this type of sex education is quite normal. Jimmy’s been learning all about sex for a few years now. By the way, can you please tell Jimmy that supper’s just about ready.”

The grandmother shook her head in bewilderment. She turned and decided to freshen up before the meal and set off up the stairs to the bathroom.

As she was walking along the upstairs landing, she noticed that the door to Jimmy’s room was ajar.

She peeked in to convey her daughter’s massage, just at the moment when little Jimmy was ejaculating over his computer screen to the accompaniment of the grunts and screams emanating from the porn movie playing on the laptop.

“Jimmy,” she said, ” Your mother says that supper is ready – just  as soon as you’ve finished your homework.”

Shocked? You’re obviously more than eight-years-old.

(I should also point out that I have no problems with the more exotic aspects of sex marketing, education and paraphernalia. For instance, I consider the glow-in-the-dark condom as probably one of mankind’s most useful-ever inventions. It has given me the freedom to read in bed after the lights have been switched off.)