Tag Archives: Michael Martin

Those damned rules!

Elliot Morley MP did not “made a mistake” when he fraudulently claimed £800 per month for a non-existent mortgage. Likewise,  Andrew MacKay MP and his wife and fellow MP, Julie Kirkbride knew exactly what they were doing when they were claiming for two “second homes”. Two Labour Lords have allegedly been exposed as a couple of crooks who were willing to take cash in exchange for altering Laws. Again, these were not mistakes.

The “It was within the Rules” mantra is no longer being trotted out because MPs have realised that Rules express no moral or ethical responsibilities. Chequebooks are being waved about, yet only just over £100,000 has been pledged by increasingly panicked MPs who are not promising the return of cash through any sense of “right-and wrong” because it’s far too late for that.  They ignored the concept of right and wrong and because they have been caught with their closed hands in the till, their self-preservation instinct has kicked-in.

Andrew MacKay has fallen on his sword in order to  save his wife’s career because his has peaked. She should now be nailed as “accessory” and also asked to resign.

That bug-eyed louche, professional Mr Clever-pants, Peter Ustinov wannabe and Royal butt-kisser Stephen Fry has offered an opinion and believes that it is all a storm-in-a-teacup and that “we’ve all done it”. No we haven’t Stephen. Mind you, Stephen’s been banged up for naughtiness so his judgement will always be suspect and hopefully he has learned a good lesson. Never talk to a reporter when you are pissed. At best, you end up sounding like a know-all uber-opinionated cab driver. At worst, an ersatz upper-class prat.

By the end of this week, it will be the end of the beginning for our naughty MP chums  but also the beginning of the end for Gorbals Mick (Mr Speaker) and Gordon Brown, the er…Prime Minister.

Brown is currently swaying from foot to foot wondering what to do . We have established that his decision-making is on the dodgy side and that he manages through the joint media of the “enquiry” (Macro Management) and the thrown mobile phone and shouting (Day-to-day or Micro Management). He has probably already exhausted his entire repertoire on this one.

David Cameron has managed to overtake Gordon and will hit the first corner well in the lead because he has made a decision and ordered his MPs to get their chequebooks out and start reimbursing the Public Purse. Gesture Politics at their finest!  He too has a surprise coming because this is not about money any more, it is about the authority of our Parliament. Had the Party Leaders managed their troops effectively and had the grand chequebook gesture happened say a year ago the matter would, by now, be at the “tidying-up” stage. Instead we have what looks like a badly-written Crisis Management case study underpinned by empty words and blind panic.

Meanwhile, whilst Cameron is temporarily cooling-off in the calming breeze of two hundred fluttering chequebooks, Gordon does what he knows. He looks in the direction of an enquiry. Any enquiry. The ideal enquiry for him would be a “Please make it go away, Mummy” type.

Meanwhile The Speaker of the House, scarlet jowls quivering as the berates the most upstanding  (and innocent) MPs and sees everything that flies in his direction as a personal threat, also does what he does best. He fails to understand the gravity of the crisis.

Make no mistake, the Speaker and Prime Minister are now standing shoulder-to-shoulder on the trapdoor and there will be a massive fight as all hands attempt to pull that lever.

The next stage (hopefully) will be in the hands of the Police and the Inland Revenue.


Michael rock the Boat


Who are you calling a fucking clown?”

Much of what has happened in both the financial and political world recently has simply been as a result of poor governance. The latest example can be found in  the way that the Speaker of the House of Commons has conducted himself following the search of  Damian Green’s Westminster office.
The Speaker has said that the police did not have a search warrant. The Police only need a search warrant if they are denied permission to search premises. All that the police have to do is to satisfy themselves that  the person from whom they are seeking permission has the right to grant such permission. Because they sought permission from the  Serjeant at Arms, they acted correctly.
The Speaker is wriggling and the question of the Police search warrant is a huge red herring. Michael “Coco” Martin appears to be “doing a Pontius Pilate” and  not supporting the Serjeant at Arms.
The “search-warrant-red-herring” masks a much wider and more profound issue – it is the difference between responsibility and accountability. It was the Speaker who hired the Serjeant at Arms and although he has delegated responsibility, he has not delegated either managerial or constitutional accountability. That remains with him.
The choice that he has is a stark one. If he believes that the Serjeant at Arms acted illegally or exceeded her authority – she has to go, closely followed by the Speaker. If he believes that she acted correctly, he must give her his full (public) support.
No more scapegoat-hunting and mealy-mouthed statements please. This is a straightforward management issue and it certainly does not warrant what has become the Prime Minister’s stock delaying tactic  – an enquiry.
( I wonder how the PM would feel if the policeman who opens and closes the door to No 10 allowed the Plod to enter the premises and search through the PM’s desk because they believed that he had somehow acted illegally).

Dodgy Speaker

What image does the word “grooming” serve up to our collective twisted little psyche? A drooling  pervert sitting in front of his laptop screen – sweaty comb-over  glistening in the soft glow of the TFT screen,  a trembling finger occasionally clicking a grubby little mouse, a handy box of Kleenex and heavy breathing as he leers at the  youngcivilservant.com chatroom as he types ” GT SUM IFNO FR ME TDAY? I FEEL I RLLY KNOW U NOW.” 

But enough about Scotland Yard.

The real villain in the “Groomgate” affair is not Damian “innocent until proved guilty” Green MP – it is the Speaker of the House, who by now , should have forgotten that he used to be a Labour politician.  Because of Michael Martin’s clumsy sell-out, the  debate has now moved on and questions are being asked about the Speaker’s political neutrality.  Would he have acted in the same way had Damian Green had been Labour rather than Conservative? The answer is that we should not even be asking such a question. We should not be questioning the impartiality of the Speaker of the House.

The Speaker of the house of Commons not only has to be impartial – he has to appear  to be impartial.

Can you see Selwyn Lloyd, George Thomas, Bernard Weatherill or Betty Boothroyd accepting any nonsense from the police? One can only imagine what Betty Boothoryd’s response would have been to a request from Scotland Yard to rifle through an innocent MP’s documents. 

Should Michael Martin have allowed Scotland Yard access to private information? No – because both the personal and constitutional ramifications are apocalyptic – the Speaker cannot appear to be an Establishment lackey.

The current Speaker has always looked uncomfortable, out of place and has consistently failed to provide leadership and direction. The time has come for him to be groomed for the House of lords.

I would wager that Sir George Young is now trying to remember where he stored those buckled shoes.