Tag Archives: May

It was Cameron wot done it!

 

There is a very important question which no-one is asking: “Why did David Cameron’s government do nothing about Britain’s Exit from the European Union?”

All that Cameron managed to achieve was several months in a very fetching  hard hat/high- viz jacket combo, doom-mongering whilst being ably assisted by his sidekick Chancellor Osborne. Gideon’s job was to spout highly coloured statistics and fictitious numbers which were designed to frighten the country’s lame brains (Britthicks). The gruesome twosome were convinced that we would vote to remain within the European Union rather than seek independence and remove ourselves from beneath the velvet jackboot of Brussels bureaucracy.

In fact  ‘remainers’ Dave and Gideon adopted exactly the same tactics as those who were promulgating our exit. They too lied and treated us to even more outrageous comedy statistics….but the Brexiteers had xenophobia on their side, coupled to the electorate’s rabid dislike of the Cameron-Osborne double-act.

The referendum result achieved something that many of us could only dream of. It was the sight of Cameron’s rapidly disappearing flabby backside as he headed for the hills because he could not cope with the bitter taste and shame of defeat. His own hubris had shown him the door.

That and the fact that he knew the game was up because he had not even considered that the British public would vote for Brexit.

Consequently he had failed to prepare for the eventuality of us leaving the EU and….. as the very model of a modern fair weather manager….. he had to go.

The Conservative Party then launched into the process of choosing a new leader – an operation that had been manifestly unsuccessful since 1990 when John Major became the  compromise leader  – and that was only because Hesteltine had too many enemies and had shown the sort of burning ambition that only ‘new money’ is brazen enough to exhibit.

John Major was a bit ‘flattered’ as an election winner and leader, purely because the Islwyn Prattler, Neil Kinnock  was the very scary Labour alternative. That situation lasted until 1997 when Tony Blair arrived to create the new ‘socialist’ Camelot.

Subsequent Conservative leadership elections are far too depressing to describe in any detail but here is the list of who they chose: William Hague, Iain Duncan-Smith, Michael Howard….followed by  Cameron in 2005. He is noted for not having been able to win an overall Conservative majority until the 2015 General Election. That majority was 12  – and that was with the terminally gauche Ed Miliband as Labour leader!

Once Cameron saw that the British people had voted to exit the EU, we were treated to a hissy fit and his resignation  –  with the added bonus of Gideon flouncing off in the direction of the Evening Standard. That created another shambolic leadership election with candidates who were all eminently suited to fight a Parish Council election but this was for the leadership of the once-great Conservative Party!

Enter Theresa May and her advisers.

As they watched the Labour Party begin its once-a-generation process of digesting itself from the inside, followed by the election of a truly hopeless leader, Mrs May was advised by her (former) advisers to announce a snap-election in June 2017.

She managed to negatively optimise (lose) Cameron’s majority of 12 and convert it into a hung parliament…..and she was allowed to get away with it because as usual, there was no obvious successor. (There never is.)

Since then, we have been waiting for another General Election but unfortunately before that can happen, the Conservative Party has to launch the next leadership battle.

All the obvious candidates are in the Lords, dead, sectioned or in prison ….so the likelihood is that the next Conservative leader will once again be a Home Counties lame duck with an imminent sell-by date …….and because the vast majority of MPs are terrified by the prospect of an election, the cycle of incompetence and excuses looks set to continue ad infinitum.

That’s a crippling shame because it is today, during probably the most sieismic sideways shift in British History, we need a leader …………….and I don’t mean Boris, Gove or even the power behind the drone –  Sarah Vine.

It is an age where Plutocratic Incompetocracy has become the norm and the current  abysmal standard of MP suggests that it is here to stay.

 

Kim Philby achieved the professional distinction of being ordered to catch himself. Theresa May is the only politician to have achieved the same status through her fumbling of the Windrush mess. The only difference is that non-one knew about Philby but everyone knows that Mrs May has been the root cause of the government’s current difficulties but no-one is saying it.

Unfortunately, Bunter Soames has been told to express the Conservative Party’s unconditional backing for the punch-drunk and inept Amber Rudd who is taking a media beating on May’s behalf. That usually indicates the beginning of the end.

From Windrush to Bum’s Rush.

Are you 100% sure that the Russians are lying?

Many (including several of the United Kingdom’s most senior Government Ministers) may be surprised to hear that Новичо́к or as we say ‘Novichok’ is NOT the name of a substance.

The word itself means ‘New Kid on the Block’, ‘New Guy’ or even ‘Newcomer’.

‘Novichok’ refers to a series of highy toxic so-called V-agents with the generic formula CnH(2n+4)NO2PS with comparatively minor variants.

For instance, Novichok Nerve Agent VE has the formula  C10H24NO2PS.

This particular series of nerve agents was developed by Russia over 20 years (1971-1993) and are collectively considered as the New Kids on the Block because they are Russia’s Second Generation agents with the first attempts having been produced in the Soviet Era – just after WW2. Continue reading Are you 100% sure that the Russians are lying?

Leadership: Charisma or Competence?

leader

In the last few years there has been a growing interest in leadership and leadership theory –  in the wake of the appearance of political leaders whose election seems to be something of an anomaly.

For instance, Donald Trump is widely regarded as an incompetent (possibly certifiable) loose cannon and the United Kingdom’s Theresa May as a charmless administrator who has suddenly and by accident, found herself in the top job as British Prime Minister.

What Trump and May do have in common, however, is that they are widely regarded as being a perfect example of the Peter Principle. That is to say, they both appear to have been promoted to way beyond their level of incompetence. Continue reading Leadership: Charisma or Competence?

In Praise of the Psychopath

donaldtrump

One of the most misused and least understood words in the English language is ‘psychopath’.

Thanks to the media, as well as the arts, the word is confused with ‘violent psychopath’.

Many years ago when I was still cavorting on the corporate stage, I asked one of my American ‘matrix’ bosses (who went on to head up one of the world’s biggest banks) what his ideal senior manager was. He studied me intently and replied, ‘An entrepreneurial psychopath with an MBA’………….. Continue reading In Praise of the Psychopath

The Cameron-Osborne Mantra

If there was ever a Prime Minister fully entitled to bang-on incessantly about “the mess left behind by the previous government”, it is Mrs May.

The Cameron-Osborne ‘mess’ has not been immediately apparent because of the veneer of spurious statistics applied to it like icing over a dodgy cake.

Hopefully with Spreadsheet Phil now in charge of the Treasury, we will be allowed to see some pure numbers, rather than those endless ‘percentages’ which Chancellor Gideon and Dave were so very fond of.

Did you notice that even towards the end of his valedictory address to the assembled hacks in Downing Street, David Cameron could not resist a  quick “…and we reduced the deficit by two-thirds!” ?

No you didn’t, Dave and you certainly should not have bolted at the first sign of having to take some real “tough decisions”.

May? Leader? I don’t think so! Leadsom to win!

 

 

Theresa

I have trained and coached some very senior people all over the world and at one stage (many years ago) I was hired by Angela Rumbold to train a few individuals at Conservative Central Office in Smith Square.

Unfortunately, I found that they all knew far more that I did, probably because of the mysterious process of knowledge-osmosis which Conservative MPs (and others) are subject to…..It is a mysterious phenomenon whereby once an MP is elected, he or she acquires all the world’s management knowledge and with little or no training or coaching can go on to manage the complexities of one or more of our great Departments of State…..even though they may have only been a lawyer, local Councillor or Trades Union person.

It is a mysterious phenomenon, on par with the migration of the Barnacle Goose.

However, I digress…..and as a leadership coach to several well-known people, my experience tells me that although Theresa May may well be an excellent administrator, she is no leader. For Instance, her ‘leadership’ of our Border Agency hasn’t been anything to write home about and in keeping with her ‘administrator rather than leader’ credentials, all of her solutions to Border Agency issues have been procedural rather than inspirational.

In other words, she’s an an ideal Conservative leadership candidate. Just look at the others: Major, Hague, IDS, Howard, Cameron…..all great leaders of their day!

On the other hand, Andrea Leadsom does appear to have a whole array of leadership qualities, including one which is considered poison by Tory High Command – CHARISMA…….but let us hope that they wake up before it’s too late!