The Speech 2008

Gordon preparing for his speech.

A lot of amateur analysis will clog tomorrow’s newspapers, so I’ll keep it short.

Gordon Brown’s 2008 conference speech was not good.  It did have the effect of a temporary reprieve but Brown is still hoping that someone will manage to get at the jury before they deliver their final verdict. The decision will arrive sometime after the next by-election. That’s about one month away.

David Miliband looked far too smug, Starling smiled and what the hell was simpering Fiona off the telly doing there? Baroness Phillips of GMTV? John Prescott and Harriet Harman  both swayed as if they had enjoyed lunch. Harriet resembled a deputy head girl after one-too-many Crofts. Ed Miliband had obviously agreed to drive and Kinnock  had morphed into his Spitting Image puppet. Ed Balls stood as if he (or something) was about to explode and Yvette was  a pixie-puppet with one broken string.

It certainly looked as if the Pomerol ’76 and the ’96 Bolly had received some attention.

Some commentators have said that Brown did not say much about the economy. That was the best decision that he made. Currently, the markets are so sensitive that a wrong word or nuance could have sent the FTSE 100 due south. Congratulations to him for being prudent. (!)

So here goes:

DELIVERY 4/10. The voice is  good  and with a bit of work, he could learn proper modulation. He is a shy boy who is afraid of overdoing the metaphors, consequently he does not use them. Occasionally he sounded as if he was reading a Saga advert.

CONTENT 5/10. Mostly recycled stuff. Mentioned the eye and admit it – you were waiting for the school motto. Thankfully, he left it out. It was a Budget speech which had been topped and tailed by the stitching-in of some NHS and anti-Tory stuff.

VISION 3/10. No great leader actually uses the “V”-word. This was a senior manager’s and not a leader’s speech.

BODY LANGUAGE 2/10.He only appeared to move his head between the two stereo autocues.

FACE 3/10. He is naturally expressionless and did not let us down . There were about four examples of the  “Jack the Ripper” smile.

HUMOUR 1/10. Not a natural comedian.

Let’s end on a high note:

He is as good as Iain Duncan-Smith.